went into the local convenience store, saw and heard a big dark-skinned guy giving instructions to the cashier on him wanting sugar for his coffee. ALWAYS hated coming close or passing by those dark-skinned people because they always like to sweet talk me and pick me up. Best part was I’ve seen this same guy hanging out w a local girl previously. n sure enough, he tried to pick me up. “how are you? wat is ur name? where do you stay？” all in Bahasa Indonesia. (applause to him for knowing foreign language)

He even blocked my way when I tried to pay. I looked up at him and I said I dont understand. I want to pay, please excuse me. dunno whether he didn’t understand or realise the unhappiness in my tone and my eyes.

he continued babbling and gave instructions to the cashier saying he wants to pay for me. my goodness. I must have looked damn pissed. cos the cashier gave me back my change.

maybe bcos this week’s unit is on Nelson Mandela and the oppression of the dark-skinned people. deep inside, I was thinking. its just a cup of coffee, well within his reach. why on earth can’t he do it himself? is that not what his forefathers suffered? how is he any different from those oppressors?

and on the feminism side, he obviously checked me out when I was getting my stuff at the store. I bet he would not have spoken to me if there was an unrelated guy around. not even talking abt if my dad was present or I came in with another guy.

Like my body was a product.

Yup, I’m still not over the being mistreated by man experience.

hope your day was happier.

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Was just looking at a “neighbor’s” behavior and it hit me that sometimes being predictable provides the certain form of security, especially for little kids.

So there was this time  when he got onto the bus, kinda squeezed in cos there wasnt enough space, he slammed the door when he got on, he slammed the door when he got off.

he kicked the door really hard, kinda normal cos the door was stuck.

But seriously, whether there is anger or not aside.. if I’m a child I’ll be frighten. “My dad has that kind of capability and strength to do that…”

and then the next day, he lost his usual seat, he commented ” <person name>, seriously?”

I didnt remember him asking to make a reservation.

If we put both of that incident together, me as a child would be damn frighten, because, “dad blames me for things he didnt make arrangement for… and he could have beaten me up with that kind of strength…”

I hope you get my point.. just saying that, dont allow your child to ever be frighten and feel insecure.
If possible, explain and be rationale.

Children learn from your behavior. Be the father they can look up to.

🙁

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda