Category Archives: Educating

Educating

Transition

So difficult arrrrr…. 😀

okay, kinda dramatic ;D
Received the domain renewal invoice the other day and I was like… should I continue keeping this blog up? :/

Its not like I’m transitioning to another gender. 😀 Just that now is THE gap period to not work and just rest to regulate the reproductive cycle and hope for miracle to happen.

I probably stop having form class commitment since CNY (late January 2023), so just doing relief classes here and there.

Been wanting to do that since I know I’m committed to grow a family, but there was still the dilemma stage of ‘oh no, no more constant income’. The straw came in when I got upset with myself. ‘Been working all my life (a bit of exaggeration) but can’t even take a period of leave to focus on priorities?’

Yeah… So I’m kinda settled in on not being fully committed to a class.

KKH – TCM, Western Meds – Eastern Meds

The cycle was being regulated when I’m on Letrozole 7.5mg. I stopped for a while and took TCM + reduced Insulin dosage each day and the cycle went haywired. Probably had caught the very mild strand of COVID with myself knowing (yea, did bivalent booster and flu vaccination in January 2023). I’m not really sure whats happening. :/ Should just sit down and analyse with doctors.

Another thought on my mind, ‘So I was saying I was really upset about the first doctor who probably treated me more like a case.’

While I wasnt as upset as before, I think it is still important to write it down. Good reflection for me in how I would handle people.

I think I would have appreciated it more if the interaction was more personal. Just like why one patient would choose to do Gastric Bypass surgery with one family doctor instead of another, sometimes its more than just fate, its also how the interaction goes.

It was my first pregnancy (and me being me tend to overprepare and go beyond), but there was no happiness with the doctor (that I was really upset about) that it was my FIRST pregnancy.

Granted she had observing practitioners in the room with her, but I think more could be done to address me as a person not just based on what she is looking at in the case file or information gathered.

Off the back of my head, it just felt like there’s really a lot of effort and vagueness on my side, neglect and moving-on from the other end.

Registered for IUI on 19Apr2023

Yup, we’ve signed the sheets, now its just waiting for a new cycle to begin. Leaving the charts of the previous months below for my records.

thanks for coming by,

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

Beta-hCG test

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so, I went in for my first pregnancy clinic visit, first scan. If its according to the above, I’m only 3rd week, 6th days in.
Not much detected on the scan, mostly just lining thickening. Endometrium at 19mm.
(and I was complaining to the sonographer that after experiencing all these breast pain, vertigo, leg cramps and blood sugar control measures and there is nothing much to see. oh gosh…)

Doctor listed a few possibilities,
(1) still early in the pregnancy
(2) spontaneous miscarriage
(3) ectopic pregnancy

Scheduled for 2 Beta-hCG test to see the change in levels within 48hrs, going back in after class.
Abit discouraged though.

Doesn’t help that the doctor is so objective and not comforting. Haiz…
When I presented some questions and symptoms to her, seems like all I get back is non-pregnancy related and PC answers.
I asked about Blood Glucose level to maintain, 4.5 to 5.5 before meal, 6 2hrs after meal. “The control must be A* level.” – she warned me. Not even bothering to first access, “How are you coping?” “How is the maintenance?” . Like I don’t know I have to keep it in control, like I haven’t been working on it. okay lor, I should just stop using the Freestyle Libre lor… Since its burning a hole in the pocket.
I asked about my vertigo, sometimes flipping side to side on bed, it spins too. She said refer me to ENT.

Sure, these are good answers that doctors are trained to, supposed to say. 😀 I sway towards confirmation bias though. Ar well…

Not like I didnt give her the stats of the cycle length. haiz… okay, I’m really grumbling because I’m really depressed about it. Its not her fault.

Like I’m a case, not a human being.
After confirming that its my 1st pregnancy, there was no question of, “Oh, how did you realise you were pregnant? How do you feel?” nope, none of those that was eloquent enough for me to remember. I’m never going to get my 1st pregnancy experience again.

Then I was so confused about the 2nd test. There’s no formal lab form for the 2nd test, they used abbreviation of the clinic that I was suppose to go, speaking too fast and swapping around terms and labels. I heard “ONG”, and then gain the understanding that its A&E department, and then someone said Urgent ONGC.
aiyo… anyway, I went back to clarify and finally understood. GOSH… I don’t work there, this is my first time. How on earth am I suppose to know what you are talking about?
nvm, I learnt, wont be my first time anymore. (oh ya, not to pee before taking height and weight + strip test)

okay, I’m done.
I shall surrender it unto the Lord, have faith and chill while waiting. As He will. Waiting to go for the 2nd Beta hCG test, waiting for the result, waiting for 1st trimester, 2nd trimester, 3rd trimester, birth, upbringing and so it goes.

😀 really not easy being a mother, having so much thoughts on it even before giving birth.

as Tom Hanks said…

This too, shall pass.

Thanks for coming by

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

Being Objective

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Continuing from the Group Buy experience…

Was chatting with a member of the Group Buy group. She’s someone that I felt more comfortable with, because there seems to be no drama with her or at least less drama and hassle with her. Probably because she’s too busy also.

She was just answering me objectively. So objectively that it was like there was no way she will back down and see what I was trying to tell her. Of course I didnt try to push my way through to bring out my point. 😀 and therein lies the lesson.

Being objective is good, cos being subjective means taking things personally, and in a bias, in a way becomes a gossip. I am definitely shying away from being subjective, or associating or spending too much time with people who are subjective.

The lesson is, being objective is good, but remember, the point of a conversation is not just to present your objective or your point, but instead, its to establish a connection with the person you are talking too.
All the saying about ‘winning a fight, but losing the battle’, winning the argument, but losing the connection’.

This was actually it. Let me be the one who speaks objectively yet deepens the connection and buys people over. Have the person understand me more, vice versa.

and in the case of that conversation, I know I didnt get through to her, but her being objective, would still be open to conversations with me in the future. The conversation can still carry on, channel is still open, just the connection isnt strengthen.

Seeing things clearly, one incident at a time.

Thanks for coming by.

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

The GroupBuy Experience

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I always thought I was strong, independent, fierce, able to stand up for myself. All that being good virtues.
But in the land of community group chat, nah. Especially being a new member and everyone having to have rapport built even before I came around.
I doubt who I am is bad. Probably just crave acceptance, popularity and more understanding, or at least more expressive form of understanding and acceptance. (so insecure…)

ar well… one day at a time. 🙂 So much more to learn …

What started out as gluttony for food has now evolved to more than I can ask for.

thanks for coming by

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

Soft Toys

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I never liked children toys to classroom. Neither would I ever thought I would allow my own child to bring toys to lesson or bring “comfort” toy out of house. This particular incident in class taught me something that day.

I’ve a really smart but not especially outspoken girl in class. She usually keeps to herself. On the other spectrum, I’ve a girl who’s a little playful, not as bright, but still excelling academically. Lets call the former Jacinta and the other Jenny.

The past few lessons, Jenny would request to do group work and being the only two girls in class, Jenny would naturally want to work with Jacinta. Jacinta isn’t very open. Discussion doesnt really work out. They’ll look through each other’s ideas mostly in silence and while it worked out academically, it didnt quite push through orally or in interpersonal relationship ways.

Came that particular week’s lesson. It was twenty minutes before lesson and Jenny arrived in class. She would usually come with a cupcake but didnt this week. I asked her why. She pulled out some soft toys from her little bag and explained that she is saving money for her little soft toys. It was no matter to me since its before class and they are free to play with their stuff.

Jacinta arrived with a Gudetama egg in her hands. Those kinda egg-shaped toy that could be split apart horizontally. I was curious as normally she would arrive and sit quietly by herself, either reading a book or resting. I asked her what was inside and she popped it open to show me its an box thingy and two other items inside. I smiled and she smiled back.

Jenny got excited and came over as she was curious as to what is Gudetama and what Jacinta brought. For a good part of that twenty minutes, they spent time role playing and squeezing the little soft toys into the egg. It was nice seeing Jacinta opened up a little.

Soon it was lesson time. Jenny went back to her seat and I started the lesson. We were almost done with the first task, when I noticed some of Jenny’s toys peeking out from under Jacinta’s pencil case. “Haiyo, Jenny! What are your soft toys still doing on Jacinta’s table,” I exclaimed. Jenny laughed and walked over to Jacinta’s table to take it back. Jenny said “They are so cute!!” and started squishing them against the Gudetama egg. A huge smile came across Jacinta’s face.

That was a breakthrough moment.

We moved on to another part of the lesson. Again group or pair discussion. Lo and Behold, although conversations between the two girls were not loud and roudy as the other groups, there was a significant change. It was nice to see the two girls conversing more and exchanging ideas. Them talking about their story plot and whose idea to take up or whose parts were better.

A soft toy, or in this case, an egg case..

yea.. still no playing of toys in lesson, but okay, I’ll let them bring it along. Or in my case, let my kids bring them along.

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

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Slow down and Breathe…

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I used to click really fast on my Qoo10 transactions and stuff. But I began to slow down. I realise that its not because my mental processing has become weaken.. but because I am more careful now. I want to be sure what I’m clicking for, is there more checks or parts that I can get price reduced or have unnecessary charges or alternative ways of payment that gets me a better deal.

Maybe thats how people that are very careful works. Not because they are unconfident, not because they are old and declining. But because they are just more careful.

I think I made enough mistake because of carelessness.
I think we can all make less mistakes.

So lets slow down and take it in. Take it all in….
*breathe…..

Thanks for coming by

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

Fishing for fees

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Felt as though im being scammed………. (of international incoming call charges if any).

I was on the train checking my email. then saw an advert on immigration to australia. https://www.immiproaustralia.com.au/APPLY/

I keyed in some contact info.

I got home and started on my meal and a phone call from australia came in. I picked it up, I asked when was the submission, cos I did enquire on such stuff some time ago.

Answered some qns and the CSO asked If Im working, I said no Im not. then he voiced louder saying how can I pay for the fees if im not working. Im like …. what…. im not working now doesnt mean I dont have cash to pay.

He asked if im single, (thats for him to pitch for Single or married w family for immigration arrangement thing).

He was a little abrasive as I wasnt clear if I was married. (If theres a proposal already, does that mean Im married?) Then asked when i last work, how much was my last pay and then oh turns out im eligible to apply. (At that point, I was very upset. Im not working now means I cannot pay? wah, u look me no up siA)

Then went on to advise me on the fee, then said the fee is for registration, lawyer consultation some governmental fee, that they provide the service of finding a job for me too. (Finding a job for me…. I was like… red alert, so many indians and bangadesh and foreign workers kanna scammed into paying to find a job in SG, that was all crap, pay up even before finding me a job. Who knows what kind of company and jobscope, and to pay before that). I said according to my understanding, I cant find a teaching job if I dont have a degree. He said, thats work permit, we are talking about immigration.

and Im like, do you have an email or a website that I can read up on, then he didnt want to give me the address, he said one of the things that email cant do is to answer a question, that government bodies dont work like that, dont work with email. If I have any qns I can ask him now.

Im like, okay, hes not giving me a website, hes not giving me an email. he is asking 750USD in advance, he says I could get a job even without a degree. – These are all red flags.

AND HERE COMES THE BEST PART

I said, oh I think I will not be able to proceed until my bf finds a job in Australia and I know the location.

I see, thank you for your interest then, bye. And he immediately puts the phone down on me. ???????

Erm… you say its application for immigration, my hesitation was because of a job thing, and you are so ready to end the conversation????????

I went to check the website I click through.

Australia Immigration Professionals Immigration Online Application Services is a private entity and is not a governmental
agency and is owned and operated by immiproaustralia.com.au. The Australia Immigration Professionals web-site is owned and
operated by Australia Immigration Services Limited © Copyright 2018 All rights reserved.

seems its more like a commercial company fishing to earn such fees.

Thanks for coming by.

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

2nd Scammer

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They dont stop coming do they? Am thankful that this post has been going around and helping people.

This 2nd one I met.
On the site, he indicated UAE. So I asked him what’s he doing there, he said he’s developing a project. I asked him where he’s from, he said Woodlands (in SG)
I asked about some of the places in the proximity, unable to answer well.
Said flying back end of the month. He said he looks forward to meet me.

I asked for photos of his development he said it’s in his laptop in HK. I didn’t pursue.
But that’s dumb. You are at your site, confirm u wld have taken photos of your “project” unless you are not proud of it or it’s a lie.

So comes end of the month, he flew HK. I questioned, didnt he say he was eager to meet me? He said he told me he’s going back SG bcos he wanted us to meet.

So I asked him what was his company’s edge to have won the project. He couldn’t respond well. He said he is the boss, he presented well, they liked it. So, he got the job. (BULL CRAP)

So I asked for his SG number, he couldn’t provide. I ask him to blur out his ic number n send me a photo of his pink ic. Couldn’t provide.

Ignore him for a while. Then he messaged to say he couldn’t text me for a while bcos his mom died, he was sad and busy.

I responded saying even mother he also bring in.

Then after that, he responded saying “oh thank you for my kind words.” Hai… Dunno how many girls he is scamming at the moment.

*sigh…

Thanks for coming by

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

Like I was a product

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went into the local convenience store, saw and heard a big dark-skinned guy giving instructions to the cashier on him wanting sugar for his coffee. ALWAYS hated coming close or passing by those dark-skinned people because they always like to sweet talk me and pick me up. Best part was I’ve seen this same guy hanging out w a local girl previously. n sure enough, he tried to pick me up. “how are you? wat is ur name? where do you stay？” all in Bahasa Indonesia. (applause to him for knowing foreign language)

He even blocked my way when I tried to pay. I looked up at him and I said I dont understand. I want to pay, please excuse me. dunno whether he didn’t understand or realise the unhappiness in my tone and my eyes.

he continued babbling and gave instructions to the cashier saying he wants to pay for me. my goodness. I must have looked damn pissed. cos the cashier gave me back my change.

maybe bcos this week’s unit is on Nelson Mandela and the oppression of the dark-skinned people. deep inside, I was thinking. its just a cup of coffee, well within his reach. why on earth can’t he do it himself? is that not what his forefathers suffered? how is he any different from those oppressors?

and on the feminism side, he obviously checked me out when I was getting my stuff at the store. I bet he would not have spoken to me if there was an unrelated guy around. not even talking abt if my dad was present or I came in with another guy.

Like my body was a product.

Yup, I’m still not over the being mistreated by man experience.

hope your day was happier.

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda