What if.. I am actually not that awesome, that capable as I thought I am?
Or that I don’t have that kind of social circle that has those kind of suitable candidates/match?

Yes no doubt I have more initiative and intuition than some people around me.
But just how much should these standards matter?

Theres this guy, he responded with his opinions really strongly, absolutely brushes off mine as a waste of time and is bullcrap, he’s an entrepreneur. so he says.

I let him be and my take was, he just didn’t understand the need to run with the conversation and converse on a surface level first and then take the conversation to the next level.

As I think back, it really begs the question, just how much does my talents worth to attract the kind of man that I’m looking at? Are they available to see it?

What if my talents are not good enough for them?
What if there aint no such guys around this social circle of mine?

Would it be good then, to not insist on maintaining the standards?
Would it be good then to just accept what they can live by and keep my standards for myself?
Just be me and accept them as they are?

How much is too much? How much is enough? How much is good? How much is not enough?

I am awesome and capable to the eyes of some, what about the others?
How much consistency is there in these capabilities?

Sometimes answering self-doubt is necessary to go further and grow deeper…

If all my conversations and dialogues were no longer based on honest output, no buttering and beating around the bush, and that I have to keep certain details to myself, would that still be genuine? would that still be authentic?

Would that still be me?

am I even able to achieve that in the first place?

while the assumption is that my introversion would discourage the change, is there not a solution to it?

Need a little touch from heaven,
or as babies develop further after running and recovering from a fever…
or just someway to grow, get over and matured through it.

Something…

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda